Rock Climbing and Interdependence with Jan Redford | For The Love Of Ep. 6

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When your sport is closely linked to your relationships, how can you find your own path and feel fulfilled on your own?

We chat with a rock climber, writer, and mother who’s been through decades of ups and downs, from losing a partner in an avalanche to ending an unhealthy marriage and from putting herself in death-defying outdoor situations to building a new relationship with risk.

Jan Redford is the author of “End of the Rope: Mountains, Marriage & Motherhood.” She lives in Squamish, B.C. with her husband and their 95 lb. pandemic pup, Juno, not far from her two adult kids.

Jan now spends her time mountain biking, trail running, skiing, hiking, and occasionally climbing and is working on her next book, “Who Shall I Be Today?”, a prequel to her first memoir.

We talk about...

Growing up dreaming of the mountains

  • Growing up in the Northwest Territories and deciding at 14 years old to become a climber

  • Getting messages as a girl to “contain yourself” and “be more ladylike,” but that felt impossible

  • Knowing she was different from her family from an early age

  • Joining a 9 month program to volunteer in rural Canadian communities

  • Diving into a 3.5 month NOLS course as a crash course in mountain life, including skiing with little experience while carrying a pack over half her weight

Grief and loss in the climbing world

  • When Jan’s boyfriend Dan and roommate Ian died in an avalanche on Mt. Foraker

  • The shock of losing someone changing you on a cellular level

  • “Death is an aphrodisiac”: Turning to another man after the loss, then one year later being pregnant and married

  • Putting grief off instead of feeling through it

Relationships in sport, unhealthy marriage, and the Cinderella Complex

  • “Taking someone climbing” vs. “going climbing together”

  • Learning outdoor sports from people you date

  • Feeling like her partner would die while climbing extreme routes

  • Being with an unsupportive husband and trying to become the kind of person who couldn’t be with someone like him

  • A long process to decide to break up a doomed relationship and how quitting a partner feels like quitting chewing tobacco

  • The Cinderella Complex: a hidden desire to be saved and taken care of, waiting for a Prince Charming and wanting to feel loved

  • Interdependence over dependence in relationship: we need other people, but a relationship might not work if you don’t think you could survive without someone

Focusing on education to escape reality

  • Latching onto the dream of university to get her through her current life

  • Remote learning through pregnancy, nursing and motherhood to take small steps toward her dreams

  • University symbolizing power in her eyes

Motherhood and climbing

  • Seeing friends push themselves and take off in their climbing careers while she didn’t have time herself

  • The pressure society puts on mothers to stay at home with the kids

  • When kids could suffer more from parents being unhappy in a marriage

  • Pressure for women not to climb after children

Changing mindset while getting older

  • Finding new ways to face fear and push self without the chance of dying

  • Not being willing anymore to keep hurting her body for the adrenaline rush

  • Feeling the loss of an inner wildness, but also focusing on how to keep adventuring through her 80’s and beyond

  • Death wishes vs. life wishes

  • Giving up intensity for longevity

  • Holding self-compassion for your past self

How to connect with Jan:

How to connect with Jeni and Angie:

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Music: The Kind of Sandwich Island by Shut-ins

Thank you to The Ruins, the best wedding venue in Oregon, for supporting the show.

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Alpinism and Imperfect Advocacy with Graham Zimmerman | For The Love Of Ep. 7

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Kitesurfing and Moving Through Trauma with Jason Slezak | For The Love Of Ep. 5